i just don't know

they say writing it all down can be therapeutic, so here goes.

i don't want pity. i don't want to be the person that everyone raises an eyebrow around. i just want to keep living life with happiness. i wish i could just run away from it all or snap my fingers and make it all go away but most of all i wish i was stronger. every one has their problems and struggles it's just hard to stomach when you go out and see how much better off they seem. or maybe its me. maybe its why i'm so fucked up sometimes. maybe its why i'm such a bitter and angry person. i laugh because i don't know what else to do. i joke because i need a break from feeling so damn helpless and to mask how much i hate my life sometimes. yeah, i know i'm still blessed and have it so much better than so many other, whatever. i can't bring myself to trust anyone to talk about the problems i apparently cannot handle. they'll judge me, i would too. i just hope it will eventually get better. i hope there is someone out there to make it better. i don't know why i'm writing this as i hear fireworks in the background, i just don't even know where else to turn besides my blog. pretty pathetic. i'm sure its going to be a happy happy holiday weekend for everyone. i just wish i was one of them.

NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN

all i do all day is NyanCat, hopefully it will help me get over my fear of cats.

i have so much respect for this woman. people can say what they want about the politics, but you cannot deny how inspiring the path the Obama's have taken to get to where they are. so incredibly incredibly proud to call her my first lady.

Michelle Obama on her “cute” husband, Hillary Clinton and how she raises her daughters

National Journal By Rebecca Kaplan

While President Obama was delivering a speech to the British Parliament on Wednesday, First Lady Michelle Obama used a visit to a prestigious girls school to give a rare glimpse into her life in the White House.

In prepared remarks followed by a Q&A at the Elizabeth Garrett Anderson School, she talked about what made her attracted to Obama and how she raises her daughters--as well as Hillary Clinton and whether the U.S. is ready for a woman president:

On whether she knew Obama would be president when she met him: "Absolutely not. No, I'm just kidding.... I knew he was a special person. And it had nothing to do with his education. It had nothing to do with his potential. And I say this to young women: Don't check off—there are a lot of women who have the boxes. Did he go to the right school? What is his income?"It was none of that. It was how he felt about his mother; the love that he felt for his mother; his relationship to women; his work ethic ... he wasn't impressed with himself. And he was funny. And we joked a lot. And he loved his little sister ... he was a community organizer. I really respected that.

"It was those kind of values that made me think you don't meet people like that often. And when you couple that with talent, and he's cute—you know, I always thought he would be useful. But I had no idea he would be president. I didn't think he was going to be president until the night we were standing on the stage and he actually won. I was like, 'gosh, look, you won.' "

On what she and Obama tell their daughters to help them achieve their goals: "Read, write, read, read. If the president were here--one of his greatest strengths is reading. That's one of the reasons why he's a good communicator, why he's such a good writer. He's a voracious reader. So we're trying to get our girls, no matter what, to just be--to love reading and to challenge themselves with what they read, and not just read the gossip books but to push themselves beyond and do things that maybe they wouldn't do.

"So I would encourage you all to read, read, read. Just keep reading. And writing is another skill. It's practice. It's practice. The more you write, the better you get. Drafts--our kids are learning the first draft means nothing. You're going to do seven, 10 drafts. That's writing, it's not failure, it's not the teacher not liking you because it's all marked up in red. When you get to be a good writer, you mark your own stuff in red, and you rewrite, and you rewrite, and you rewrite. That's what writing is."

Advice for women on relationships with spouses and with each other: "Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down. And trust your instincts ... good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don't hurt. They're not painful. That's not just with somebody you want to marry, but it's with the friends that you choose. It's with the people you surround yourselves with. And that's just as important as the school that you choose. Who's in your life, and do you respect them, and do they respect you? And are you respecting them. Right?

"And we as women in particular—and this is such an important message—starting today, you all have to be supportive of each other. You can't be jealous, and push and trip, you know? It's hard enough."

Her concerns on attending Princeton University: "Well meaning but misguided people sometimes questioned whether someone with my background could succeed. I had all kinds of worries and fears and doubts before I entered. I worried that I wouldn't be as well prepared as students who had come from more privileged families. I worried that I wouldn't fit in somewhere so different from where I'd grown up.

"But after a few months in college, away from home on my own, I realized that I was just as capable and I had just as much to offer any of my classmates. I realized that if I worked hard enough, I could do just as well as anyone else."

On whether the U.S. was ready for a woman president: "I think we're there. I think that the United States, I think many countries around the world are ready. So now the challenge is our preparation as women and our desire and willingness to step up and grab that ring, because we're at a time when so many people just want good leadership....

"Hillary Clinton is a fabulous leader. My husband had a formidable opponent in her in the primaries. She is a phenomenal secretary of State. We have examples of outstanding women like her in leadership all over the world.

"So it's completely there. The question is, are we ready? Are we, as young women, are we ready to take that responsibility on and go after it and take the risk that go with stepping out there and being judged? And I think sometimes as women we can step back, but we can start pushing ourselves now."

_________________________________________________________

i don't go on the computer for a couple days and i miss so much news.

like this little gem:



OH MY GAWD, THIS BOY IS KILLING ME.
for all my friends out there, this will be your birthday, graduation, christmas, kwanzaa, hanukkah, or wedding gift. i need to get my asian ham fingers on a wholesale box of SOMEDAY, probs check if Costco has it, they better. You are all so very welcome.

ok i'm going to waste the rest of my day away.

goodbye.

BUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Adult Baby

WHAT.THE.FUCK.

that is all i am going to say.

HAPPY ZOMBIE JESUS DAY!

you know, cause Jesus and I are such great buddies! i finally got my first Easter basket today (i got a little too excited during my search for the basket...) at my bestest maryland friend's house with her amazeballs muurland family. wuv you kwastal joan.

so about a month ago i went home for spring break, super cool, and i was on my laptop proceeding to take a little bathroom break. upon my return i found this on my screen:


since it is easter, i remembered this beautiful piece of art made by my brother for no apparent reason back in the month of march. he is 17. strange boy i tell you.

this was my brother and I as small chitlins.

only we're not white, we are very much yellow.

also this caught my attention today:

her sister goes to school at emerson, lo' and behol' she finally runs into meh grams and at all places, CVS. i can't breath. here she is on google earth being a doll.

I AM DYING. yes ya'll my grams is one infamous lady in the city of Boston, particularly at all of the city's CVS's.
i love her.

what a magnificent day and to top it all off:

this week made me happy because of the above. hopefully it will continue on until we are CHAMPIONS. because unless we win, nothing else matters.

oh yeah one more thing. i was on the phone with my mother the other night and she proudly told me that she called into Verizon to ask the customer service guy where and what time the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate will be broadcasted. he told her to google it and she replied "oooohhh GOOOOGLLEE???" in her creepy asian accent. he then told her to press guide on the remote and she frustratedly replied that we do not receive tvguide. meanwhile my asshole brother is sitting right there on a COMPUTER and letting the poor woman struggle away.

imagine being the Verizon guy on the other line, picking up the phone expecting some troubleshooting problem only to explain to some asian woman how to find out when the royal wedding will be on tv. you can't make this shit up.

okay thanks and good day,
eggz

high up on the hill

yes it has been awhile. my apologies. tumblr is now taking over my life.

http://eggrorr.tumblr.com/

anyways, as usual i have much on my mind but i'm too lazy.

i cannot however pass up sharing this delightful little message with you all. it's things like these that keeps me sane and reminds me of the light at the end of the tunnel. home.

i see a notification from my dearest little brother on my facebook for this:

Richard L

• 420
  Vick I found out what 420 is and I hope your not stoned out of your mind right now. But here's some stuff you missed -mom and I had movie marathon after watching marathon. Watched limitless, sucker punch, the conspirator, and atlas shrugged. - mom never knew Lincoln was assassinated and thought he was black.
  - dad has a Mexican friend called George that helps pick up used water boilers and other parts. I listen to them on the phone both struggling to communicate in English
• 
  

died. yes. it is grand, i love my family.
he is still using the wrong you're/your, good luck the SATs/life buddy...

• on a side note:

take it easy everyone.

peace and love,
Eggrorr

i just can't get enough

mood: guilty...
currently listening to: depeche mode mix

i am addicted to this.

so incredibly good. go check it out. well others may not find it as appealing as i do.

2 week until i trek home, yay!

starting to like my hair again. haway!

i can't stop snorting. i don't know what's wrong with me.

a certain someone i live with likes to not clean up after herself and left our bathroom (which has no ventilation, mind you, AT ALL). i open the door to change and HOLY CRAP it smells like period blood in there. almost like a mix of a pile of shit, an old sushi market, and a dead body. lovely, i hope you enjoyed that description. if i had to go through that, the least i can do is let you imagine the gawd awful stench. I AM NOT BEING DRAMATIC. honestly one of the worst smells i've ever come across, and i've smelled a lot of nasty shit in my life, don't ask me why. ps, she went to bed at 11:20 on a saturday night. so if she expects us to be quiet, we will not. Can we please live like a normal college student please? ok thank you.

throwback song of the day.

i have many special memories to this song. mostly around a lake and asians and karaoke.

ughhh my body is so sore from working out. i'm gonna be a fitness guru. oh and i was forced to go to yoga, mighta let a lil toot out here and there....or five. i have a problem with over sharing, please stay being my friend.

toodaloo!
Eggrorr

i'm heartbroken...

i cannot believe this. stunned. overwhelmed.


A true Celtic, always was and always will be. bled green and always gave it his all. thanks for the 8 years of renewed faith in the Boston Celtics. Good Luck and never forget us.



Thanks for everything Perk!

i hope you know what you're doing danny ainge, otherwise it will be awhile before i can forgive you.

banner 18 is slowly slipping away.

ugh,
Eggz


please come back....it's going to be so weird not seeing your signature scowl during the games.